March 3, 2010

Inside Out

Posted in recovery tagged , , , , , at 8:00 pm by eddejae

I wrote this one week before my last hospitalization. I wanted to share it today because, while the thoughts and feelings that were going through me at the time I wrote it are somewhat different now, it still rings true to me and expresses much of who I am…

Inside Out

Turn me inside out

And outside in.

See it is who hides.

Make me smile inside

While the outside cries.

And dies.

And then me again you see

Stripped bare and bleeding

With tangles in my hair.

Where do I go when the smile is gone,

All pretension washed away?

What will you see,

What will you know,

When the eyelids fall

And you hear the call

Of a thousand summers

That I have lived,

Crying for me.

Come back to life.

Bask free in

Warm liberty’s rays,

And breathe the breath

Of richer days.

You forgot.

I was before I was.

I am more than I am.

I know your eyes go deep.

I know the tears that come

In your sleep.

My world is vast.

My heart cannot lie.

What you see is merely

A shadow of reality,

Dream within a dream.

Melody within a melody.

Stories intertwine

And destines keep in time

And I see with

These naked eyes

All I know to be.

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3 Comments »

  1. slpmartin said,

    Recently my mother-in-law was in the hospital…and your words reminded me of what I saw all around me.

  2. Lillie said,

    scary and true. seems like all my life i hid what i felt out of fear others would see me as crazy as i thought i was only to find out that there are others in this world who battle the same fight. one of the hardest images brought to my mind in your poem was the fact jesus truly bore our pain. in that moment he bore everyone’s sin i cant imagine how horrible he must have felt when i feel the emotional pain and suffering of myself. i simply cant imagine the sweat, the tears, and the blood he endured for someone like me and you. i feel so blessed.


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