March 8, 2010

Such and Such

Posted in recovery tagged , , , , , , at 8:27 pm by eddejae

Today was my last session with my current therapist. She just moved to San Jose and will be working there full time. I’m going to be transitioning to another therapist that she recommended, but I’m still sad. I’ve worked with her on and off for about two years now, and it will be strange seeing someone else. However, this therapist she recommended seems to be really good, and he specializes in borderline personality disorder, which is a major plus. Also, she’s going to talk to him about me and give him my file, so I don’t feel like I have to completely “start over” and retell my entire life story. Trust me, there are things in past I really don’t want to have to bring up again. Still, I don’t know him, so I’m a bit nervous, but my therapist said she feels I’m in a really good place right now so she’s not too worried about the transition. I’m sad to see her go though… She’s seen me through a lot.

Anyways…This constant fatigue is really frustrating me. I mean, I know I’ve been doing a lot of mental and emotional work lately, and I’m still adjusting to my medication but… Come on! You’d think I would be able to get by without sleeping 11-12 hours every night and then needing a nap in the middle of the day! I’m doing everything right in regards to eating well and exercising… But maybe I need to force myself to adjust to a more normal sleep schedule. Staying up until midnight and sleeping in until noon just isn’t practical. So one of my new goals this week is going to bed by 10pm and not letting myself sleep past 9am. Hopefully I’ll be able to scale my hours of sleep down to 8 or 9 hours a night eventually… But this is a start. I’ve also worked my way up to 60 min of exercise a 5-6 days a week, and I’m going to add in working on my abs as well.

Sigh… speaking of tired…I’m going to sign off. Goodnight.

<– Me… sometimes… when I feel like it… 🙂



  1. tiffk1023 said,

    That definitely must be tough switching therapists. The one that I’m currently seeing is my 5th one, so I can definitely relate to the whole starting over and telling your story thing. I really hope this one will be able to help you as well, and I’m glad that you’re in a place that you’re really ready to recover from your past. Your new schedule seems incredible, and I only wish I had the discipline to be able to carry out all my goals. I hope you will be able to persevere in your new lifestyle as well as your new therapist!

  2. Lillie said,

    i felt tremendous hurt having to move on with a couple of my therapist. i grew a strong sense of attachment to them through all the emotional work i had did. i felt like i understood why both had to move on, but there was part of me still kicking and screaming for them to stay. childish, maybe, but this is how i felt. changes are inevitable, or so i hear all the time. like my therapist now, she tells me, “take a risk and find out there might be joy in in (change).” i believe it to be true. i seen it. my shrink specializes in sleep. he told me to try and sleep from 12am to 7am. (uh, but, yea, i am still up and it is nearly 2am) i still need a nap during the day. i need naps and needing naps is okay. naps allow me to revive that part of me needing rest. i can then be as effective as anything the moment i wake up and meet life unexpectedly. i truly am thankful for your mom introducing us online. i feel so not alone now. i feel like you share parts of me i am so afraid to express aloud in a way that touches me. how impacting you are! never never give up. you shine the light of love given to us so freely! keep on falling forward…my friend.

    • Edde said,

      I am also very grateful that we found each other. I really feel a connection to you, and I don’t feel so alone either. Your blog posts and your comments mean SO much to me.You have touched my heart so greatly as well, and I believe the light of Christ shines through both of us.

      ‘neva neva give up’… Thank you for being my friend.

  3. Lillie said,

    something cool! i just went to my bible verse of the day and it was

    You are the light of the world – like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.

    ~ Matthew 5:14, NLT

    how cool is God?

    • Edde said,

      He is am-awesom-azing! (LOVE that verse)

      Here’s another cool one!

      Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. (Matt. 5:16)


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