March 28, 2010

Empowerment

Posted in recovery tagged , , , , , , , , at 8:56 pm by eddejae

My therapist once gave me a list called “My Bill of Rights.” It was during a time when I was struggling with inappropriate guilt and lack of assertiveness in relationships. She said to keep a copy in my car, in my room, at work… Wherever I would see it often. I had actually forgotten all about it until the other day when I found it in a random pile of scrap paper. I still have a difficult time with some of these things, so it is good to be reminded.

MY BILL OF RIGHTS

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT.

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO AND NOT FEEL GUILTY.

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXPERIENCE AND EXPRESS MY FEELINGS.

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE MY MIND.

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK FOR WHAT I WANT.

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK FOR INFORMATION.

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE MISTAKES.

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO LESS THAN I AM HUMANLY CAPABLE OF (seriously!)

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO ACT IN WAYS THAT PROMOTE MY DIGNITY AND SELF-RESPECT AS LONG AS OTHERS ARE NOT VIOLATED IN THE PROCESS.

Virginia Satir said the following, which I think goes right along with the concept of our rights as individuals:

I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.

Empowering, no?

Advertisements

6 Comments »

  1. All so very true!!!!!

  2. Lillie said,

    sounds like you are feeling up beat and “rawwrr” nowadays. this is good. possess your moments that make yesterday just fade away so you feel like you aren’t chained to it. :O) keep on falling forward edde…

  3. anickdaler said,

    The Bill of Rights is interesting as the things it states are all the things I cannot do. It’s odd to see what is effectively a list of my problem areas in black and white like that. Thanks for sharing it 🙂

  4. ivypixi said,

    AMAZING! I want to frame it and put it on my fridge. Thank you.

  5. Jen said,

    That’s just what I was about to say!

    But seriously…. that’s brilliant.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: