April 3, 2010
I am so full of nervous energy right now I don’t know what to do with myself! I seriously feel like I could run five miles… Then I remember how much I hate running. So I’m thinking not.
I just attempted to cook myself some scrambled eggs, and I think more egg wound up glued to the pan then on my plate. I’ve always had terrible luck with eggs. Why do I even try? I should just permanently resign myself to hardboiled and be done with it.
Well, the real reason for this blog post is not to gripe about my pathetic lack of egg-cooking finesse, but rather to report on meeting my new therapist yesterday. I am pleased to announce it was tremendously successful! I felt comfortable with her right away and was able to open up fairly well. She didn’t focus on my past, which was a relief, and gave me some great insight on how my thoughts are connected to my feelings. I had expressed to her my frustration with the fact that I will wake up feeling great one day, and miserable the next. She said “I can guarantee that the thoughts you had the day before led to the feelings you wake up with that morning – you just aren’t completely aware of them yet.” That made total sense to me. She is having me keep a “mood log” so both she and I can keep track of how my emotions fluctuate throughout the day, and what thoughts or events trigger them.
She also gave me the option of communicating with her through email during the week if needed, and has me scheduled out for eight sessions. In general, she was very positive, validating, and seemed to be genuinely interested in me and my issues. I left feeling great.
One thing she did emphasize with me was that she encourages her clients to push themselves out of their comfort zone and to be actively working towards something. She said that at this point it’s probably not a good idea that I have so much time on my hands, and that maybe I should start thinking forward towards my next step. To be honest, the idea kind of scared me. I enjoy my comfort zone, thank you very much! But after some soul-searching, I realized I have been getting maybe a bit too comfortable in my present situation. Perhaps I am ready to branch out a bit. – maybe start looking for a part-time job, maybe volunteer somewhere, maybe take a couple classes this summer… Something to think about.
Well, I am as restless as all get out so I should probably go find another outlet. Maybe play some Guitar Hero, maybe put on “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” by The Darkness in my room and dance around like a complete dork, maybe work on my Jack Sparrow impression, maybe take pictures of my ever-multiplying stuffed frog collection …
… Who knows? 😉