April 10, 2010
For My Mother
Tremble precariously on my skin
Until, heavy with sorrow, they fall –
Drenching the ground with my pain.
The invisible thread that connects
Our two hearts is tightly wound,
The hurt in yours vibrating to mine.
I feel your pain – it becomes my own.
Harsh words pierce like a dagger, I know.
I wonder if at times you feel
Nothing at all – so I feel for you,
Knowing you deserve so much more.
When I was a little girl I would cry for you.
Though I’ve grown, I am still scared,
Still wonder if we will be broken apart,
Would I be enough to fill the emptiness?
In those days, I would hide in my room.
Now, I just escape in my mind –
Running from the tension, the chaos,
The sound of you softly crying, trying to be strong.
You never want me to see you break down –
Closing the door, wiping away the tears,
Not saying the things I already know,
Not wanting me to be afraid.
But I’ve been afraid all along –
For you, for me, for us all.
Hurt feelings, broken hearts,
Wanting to feel accepted, yet falling short.
Nothing left to do but cry and hope
That one day you will be happy on your own terms.
And maybe I will learn to forget what
I have always felt I lacked –
That the void may be filled for both of us.
I don’t have the answers,
I still feel like a helpless child –
But I love you…
And I hope that helps somehow.