April 10, 2010

For My Mother

Posted in recovery tagged , , , , , , , , , at 7:04 pm by eddejae

Tears slip through my fingers,

Tremble precariously on my skin

Until, heavy with sorrow, they fall –

Drenching the ground with my pain.

The invisible thread that connects

Our two hearts is tightly wound,

The hurt in yours vibrating to mine.

I feel your pain – it becomes my own.

Harsh words pierce like a dagger, I know.

I wonder if at times you feel

Nothing at all – so I feel for you,

Knowing you deserve so much more.

When I was a little girl I would cry for you.

Though I’ve grown, I am still scared,

Still wonder if we will be broken apart,

Would I be enough to fill the emptiness?

In those days,  I would hide in my room.

Now, I just escape in my mind –

Running from the tension, the chaos,

The sound of you softly crying, trying to be strong.

You never want me to see you break down –

Closing the door, wiping away the tears,

Not saying the things I already know,

Not wanting me to be afraid.

But I’ve been afraid all along –

For you, for me, for us all.

Hurt feelings, broken hearts,

Wanting to feel accepted, yet falling short.

Nothing left to do but cry and hope

That one day you will be happy on your own terms.

And maybe I will learn to forget what

I have always felt I lacked –

That the void may be filled for both of us.

I don’t have the answers,

I still feel like a helpless child –

But I love you…

And I hope that helps somehow.

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1 Comment »

  1. willowdot21 said,

    Hello I have just read this beautiful poem full of love for a mother. I found your blog as I was looking for a photo of a young girl. I do hope you do not mind me using the photo. Your poem is lovely it says a lot of things we all feel but do not always say in time.


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