April 16, 2010

Psych Ward ~ Part 2

Posted in recovery tagged , , , , , , , at 7:55 pm by eddejae

WARNING: This series of blogs is very blunt. A bit gutsy. A little angry. Extremely cathartic. Possibly offensive to some, as I don’t plan to censor any language. I apologize ahead of time.


Trying to write a little bigger today. This skinny slip of a pen makes my hand cramp up. Woke up at 5AM with a migraine, and all they could give me was Tylenol. I might as well take a sugar pill. I was soooo hungry and breakfast tasted soooo good. (I think my Selexa is kicking in because I’m feeling way too happy right now – a teensy bit manic?) Last night my parents brought me a shirt that says “Music is my world.” I miss music (and I miss playing in the band with Hal and dressing up like a rocker chick.)

No matter where I go or what place I find myself in, God has a way of trying to reach out to me. I’m sitting here in community meeting and the 81 year old man, Dallas Cole, broke out in “I Am a Child of God.” The whole room went silent. I’ve lost a lot of my ability to feel, but I felt something in my heart when he sang. He is so sweet and innocent.

This morning one of the staff was trying to get Shelly to walk without holding her hands stiffly in front of her. So Dallas Cole walked back and forth down the halls with her, encouraging her to swing her arms as she walked. He was so into trying to help her, he was so attentive, it was the most adorable thing ever!

Best quotes of today:

“You’re my angel” ~Shelly, to me.

“You look like a Barbie doll” ~ Shelly and Michelle, to which Joweli piped up “Ya you do. I know cuz I used to work at Toys R Us!”

“You could totally be on America’s Next Top Model. Size 6? You’re perfect!” ~Michelle

“You look like an Abercrombie model” ~Shelly

… This people are OBVIOUSLY off their rockers!!!!

“I missed you. I didn’t even know what I was missing before you came. Then I realized. I was missing an Edde.” ~Heather

“I love you Edde. You’re my little sister.” ~Heather

“Hats make you more confident” ~Michelle

“Your dad is a stunning man. He looks like Brad Pitt.” ~Heather

“How would you like her for your stepmom?” ~Joweli, pointing at Heather. HAHAHA!

Best one of all… “You would be PERFECT for my son!” ~Tina, my roommate.

[Thursday evening] What a roller coaster of a day! Woke up with a migraine… Um I think I already wrote about this. I swear I’m ADD. But everything changed at lunch time. I ate two pieces of delicious apple pie and two cups of coffee. I sat with Sergei, Tina, and Heather. I made everyone laugh when my ranch packet burst open and all the ranch landed “kerplop” in my coffee! Then we had some great conversation and Heather and I sang showtunes outside. We harmonized and sounded really good! At lunch she looked at my chest and said, “Those CAN’T be real!” HA! “But don’t worry, I’m a FLAMING heterosexual!” HAHA! After lunch I played the dot game with Joweli, who turns out is an awesome dude! Bonnie [my social worker] came in at about 1:30 and told me my parents were here demanding I go with them. That’s originally what I wanted, but for some reason my attitude had changed and I realized that I was actually enjoying myself and the people here! Whoa. Plus Dr. Roman said that if I left AMA (Against Medical Advice) he wouldn’t give me a prescription and there may be complications with insurance. So I decided to stay here and I’m very happy with my decision. I’m in Process Group right now talking about time management – something I really need to work on when I leave here.


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