April 30, 2010

Let it Go

Posted in recovery tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 10:38 pm by eddejae

I can barely keep my eyes open as I write this. I am exhausted, even though I slept for 10 hours last night and then took a 2 hour nap. I am emotionally drained. I have spent some long nights this week talking to fellow mental illness sufferers and helping them through their pain. Don’t get me wrong, I love being there for other people. I consider it part of my reason for being here on this earth. Serving as a conduit of love and hope is an essential aspect of who I am and of my journey. However, I recognize the need for me to recharge my batteries and that I may be spreading myself a bit thin.

Combine my new romantic relationship with the current friend and family relationships I work to maintain, plus a plethora of new friends I have met through blogging and facebook who are in need of my support, not to mention the emotional work I am doing in therapy… I am spent. I can feel the exhaustion pulsing through my veins. My mental capacities are worn out. My emotions are all used up. Stress has taken its toll on my body. I’ve avoided cutting, but have been binging much more to compensate. I am so tired. I need some serious TLC. Someone needs to take care of me, just one day. I need a break. Just a day would suffice. Then I would gladly go back to helping my friends, offering my support, advocating the causes that are so important to me, being there for my family, and being a loving girlfriend. But for right now… I need rest. Please…

Let me rest…

Let me close my eyes…

And let the world and everyone in it just disappear…

Just for a moment…

Just let it all go…

Please.

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8 Comments »

  1. Treyvone said,

    Dont stress too much, remember that being friends means we depend on each other. Its a two way street. I for the most part am also strong enough for you to lean on! Go on get some rest!

  2. Kate said,

    i wish i could rub you head for you!

  3. Stacy said,

    For sure sounds like time to take care of you. Do so self soothing things. Go ahead and rest and don’t worry about feeling guilty about it. You’re a good friend and support to so many. Of course there comes a time when you need to focus on your own needs and self care.
    Warm wishes for a relaxing, restful day.

    • Edde said,

      Thank you Stacy. I have a tendency to feel guilty when I just focus on myself. I feel like I don’t deserve it! But maybe I do…. Once in a while. 🙂 ❤

  4. bpdisme said,

    You definitely need some YOU time. *HUGS* 🙂


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